I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
