just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
