Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
