Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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