you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
