yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
