Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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