Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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