I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
