one word: firstdatebathroomanal
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
