the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
