I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
