i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
A+ Viking dick
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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