I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
