if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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