It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
