Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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