in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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