i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
