Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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