another moral hangover. fuck.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
