Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
