omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
