the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I party with great urgency now.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
