So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
