He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
