i jhust puked up my retainher.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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