i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
is that a dick in a sweater?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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