his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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