just come out here and I will go home with you...
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We were destined to go to rehab together
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
