i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
