When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
