I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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