I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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