I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
