Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
