So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
as a side note pls kill me
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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