oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
