but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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