dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
