wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
