Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Your cock deserves a montage
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
