I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
3 2 1 whiskey
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
