if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
