I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
