She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
