And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
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