i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
