I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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