20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
