On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The power of my boobs compel you
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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