It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
