He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
